About You

Personal experience helps me serve men better.

Men without passion and purpose tend to fill the void inside them with destructive behaviors such as overeating, substance use, and sexual acting out – behaviors that often lead to weight gain, depression, anxiety, and relationship problems.

How do I know that? I know because I was one of those men for more than a decade. I know how frustrating living this way can be, and that’s why helping people turn vicious cycles into virtuous ones really lights me up. I don’t do this work because of moral reasons; I do it because being o service gives me more joy than any of my attempts to fill the void ever did.

I know experientially that the gift comes from the wound, and I know that my gift is helping men alchemize the pain of addiction and compulsion into the pleasure of living as their highest self.

You see, I am as into pleasure as anyone else. I am still as interested in dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins as any active cocaine user or cigarette smoker. I have just found a better and more sustainable way to work with these pleasure chemicals, so they don’t make me nuts.

Bad habits don’t create lasting pleasure – only suffering.

The pleasure I get is from an infinite source, which is just a fancy way of saying that I get high by being attuned to god/love/consciousness/reality. Or maybe what I am describing is not quite the same as getting high, but it is a kind of sustained, even-keeled pleasure.

The pleasure of creativity, equanimity, service (giving of the gift), and embodiment is so much better than the pleasure of Jack Daniels. That might be hard for you to believe from where you are now, but you won’t want to go back to the same old behaviors once you start getting results.

I am a mystic, a basketball player, a sex machine (on my good days), a singer, a dancer, and a writer, not out of virtue – but because the love I get from those things is the most incredible high I have ever found. If you have read this far, you are probably like me – you just haven’t found the spiritual architecture to live as your higher self consistently yet. That’s where I come into the picture.

I have been helping men who struggle with self-sabotaging habits and compulsive behaviors since I started my 12-step journey in earnest in 2012. But I am not just a 12-stepper.

There are practical tools you can use to address self-sabotaging habits.

As much as I love and am still involved in 12-step programs, I also recognize their limitations and how people in these programs often overuse shame and fear to force behavioral change. These kinds of pressure are very culturally embedded sources of motivation.

I wanted to learn to create change from a different place. A place that didn’t even remotely rely on fear, shame, or self-pressure/self-hatred. That’s why in addition to 12-step groups, I studied habit change through Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, among other things. But academic study alone was not enough. I also sought out change through spirituality… specifically the non-duality teachings that I absorbed through books and seminars with Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie, Rupert Spira, Roger Castillo, Robert Wolfe, Ram Dass, Matt Kahn, Scott Kiloby, and my beloved coach Kyra O’Keefe. These individuals have taught me so much, and I want to pass what I have learned to you.

Through a combination of community which I found in 12-step programs and non-duality circles, the spiritual teachings I absorbed and applied, and the practical tools I learned from books about habits and behavior change, I started pursuing a new path.

For me (and for my friends, family, colleagues, and wife), my changes were nothing short of miraculous. If you knew how depraved and confused I was, you would think it was miraculous, too. I transformed myself from a compulsive cheater, debtor, over-drinker, cigarette smoker, Adderall user, over-eater, and exercise bulimic to a man who doesn’t feel the need to use substances, has his financial house in order, eats well, exercises with intention and joy, and is married to a beautiful, nurturing woman.

It would be my honor and privilege to help you find some of the same tools I used so that you, too, could transcend your most severe limitations to become the greatest possible version of yourself.